Growing Your Own Zombies

Here’s the 411 on how to grow zombies for your next Halloween party

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Common nameZombie

Other namesThe undead , walk beat , last dead , walkers , mastermind biters

USDA Hardiness Zones4–9

Mature sizeSize varies with variety . zombi generally get about 6 feet tall and 2 feet wide . “ Healthy ” zombies can reach 7 metrical unit if grown in areas with no or very meek winters .

twenty-four hours to harvest90 to 130 day

OverviewFrom Wikipedia : “ zombi are fictional undead animate being regularly encountered in horror and phantasy themed works . They are typically describe as mindless , reanimated remains with a hunger for human flesh , and in particular for human mastermind in some depictions . ”

fancied ? Hogwash ! I ’m grow several in my garden mightily now . In fact , not only have I grown them in my garden , but “ voluntary ” zombies have grown out of my compost voltaic pile in the past . They do seem to have a mind of their own , and you never bang how or where they will pop up once they get established .

Soil preparationZombies grow best in well - drained , fecund , and crumbly soil . Most varieties can tolerate clay or arenaceous grime . When cook new planting areas , render to clear out rock , sod , and other junk beforehand .

SunlightYou will more often than not get a better fruit if you implant your zombies in partial to full shade . Because of their nocturnal nature , they prefer shade . It is during the all-night time of day that most of their growth ask seat .

Seeds or transplantsZombies do n’t really bring forth “ seminal fluid , ” so starter plants — um , I mean , share — are the only real mode to go . Just about any part of the undead can be planted , but hands and substructure are the most common . Unlike potatoes , where pieces of the potato are cut up and then planted , zombie dead body parts can be planted whole .

PlantingZombie part are loosely direct - sown in the garden in the spring after all danger of frost has passed and the soil has warmed . If plant at the proper time , they will be full - size by Halloween . drop planting is not recommended , primarily because snake god tend to hunt for brains more aggressively if they mature in warm ground .

Plant the parts about 3 to 6 inches deep , depend on which parts you have . Leave a portion of each part expose to air and sun so that it can “ breath . ” Space parts about 2½ to 3 feet apart . They do not postulate any support ( e.g. , stakes , cages , or trellis ) .

FertilizingZombies prefer a soil pH between 6.0 and 7.0 . As long as they are give an periodic brain or bloody snack , zombies do n’t require any fertiliser .

WateringProvide zombies with about 1 inch of water per week . Most varieties are fairly drought liberal . endeavor to water betimes in the morning to allow region to dry cursorily and concentrate the chance for accelerated contagion . Drip irrigation is commend to help keep the flesh teetotal .

Weed controlBecause zombi spirit can have rotting body function , do not grasp too deeply when using a hoe or trowel to weed . Again , to avoid increasing guff , do not weed when the flesh is wet . As with other plants , enforce mulch will forbid many smoke as well as help retain soil moisture . constitutive mulches such as stubble , untreated lawn press clipping , or chopped bark are recommended . enforce the mulch 3 to 6 inches deep after the soil has warmed . fateful plastic is not recommended , as new fingerbreadth growth may not be able to penetrate it .

Pests and insectsZombies are generally free from most pests . The only insects that tend to hang around are those that fertilize on decomposing constituent matter .

DiseasesDiseases may be a problem during coolheaded , wet conditions . A variety of viruses can attack automaton , causing foreign coloration in the flesh . Neem oil colour , sulfur , and other fungicide can be used . Most , however , do n’t do any genuine damage internally .

HarvestingZombies in reality harvest themselves . Yep , that ’s right . You will know when they ’re ready because they wo n’t be in the ground anymore . They will be aimlessly walking around your yard , look for build and brains .

Suggested varieties‘Kentucky Flesh’—An honest-to-god variety with dark flesh . ‘Blood Hybrid’—My personal favorite ; early producing and very drought tolerant‘Green Walker’—Produces very magniloquent zombie with greenish flesh‘Royale Burgundy’—A democratic variety with purple human body when mature‘Gray Giant’—German heirloom that has appeared in many movies and telly shows‘Triumph de Zombie’—A readily available Gallic salmagundi . Be advised , however , that this variety is extremely aggressive . ‘Flesh 206’—Classic variety that can be grow almost anywhere

NOTE : This position is not factual , and is meant for amusement function only . well-chosen Halloween , everyone !

Photos: Greg Holdsworth

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